Calls to the Other Side
by camiguin
Summary: A series of voice mails Garcia leaves on Emily's cell phone. Takes place at the end of and after the season 6 episode 18, "Lauren." If any of you haven't seen that episode and you read this don't hate on me.


Author's note: last night had me bawling like a baby, which was kinda hard to explain to anyone who didn't see it. I was up half the night and all day today little flashes and clips have been bursting through my mind, especially the scene when Emily gets that voicemail from Garcia. This is the result of those flashes and chronic insomnia. If it reads a little weird or it seems like there's a lot of fragment sentences or the like it's (mostly) intentional. Garcia is spilling her thoughts to Emily and this is how I sound in my head when I talk to myself. I own nothing, not a damn thing except a trashcan full of teary tissues and waterproof mascara. Not the show, not the song (Fix You by Coldplay), and not any of Garcia's outfits which I majorly covet. Thanks for reading.

_When you try your best but you don't succeed  
When you get what you want but not what you need  
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep  
Stuck in reverse  
_

Watching Dr. Spencer Reid, the smartest person that I know and probably in the entire world, fall into JJ's arms, lost and sobbing, seemed so surreal. How will we all cope with this horrible, terrible, awful, and just about every negative –le ending word there is, survive if that person who knows everything doesn't know what to do?

I am the Oracle of Quantico! I am able to track down every psychopathic baddy, follow the ghosts of every one of their past actions, trace every footprint leading to their secrets, but now for the second time I have failed my family. I could not save you, the only Emily Prentiss the world will ever have. You were, no you ARE my sister in every way but blood.

I prayed to God to just have you away from that awful man! I prayed that we would find you! I prayed that we would get you out alive! And we did! We did get you away! And we did find you! And you were alive! I got what I wanted, didn't I? I guess I can't get mad at God for giving me what I asked for, now can I? But that wasn't all of it. It wasn't what I, or Derek, or Spence, or Hotch, or JJ, or Rossi, or even Will and Henry and Jack needed wasn't. We need you here with us.

Hotch walked out of the room with JJ following. The look on his face breaks my already shattered heart. He was finally just starting to live again after Hailey and The Reaper. We all were devastated when that happened but now its even worse.

_And the tears come streaming down your face  
When you lose something you can't replace  
When you love someone but it goes to waste  
Could it be worse?  
_

My curtains are drawn, lights out, and I am alone except for my new roommate Sergio. I let my mind wander. Damn you, Emily Prentiss! Why couldn't you stay? Why couldn't you trust us and our love? Why did you think you had to carry the weight of this enormous thing all by yourself? We loved you and you left us. Do you know how much we miss you and need you? I look around and all I can see are pictures of our family. You were our strength and our courage when things got scary, and things are really scary and it will never stop being scary.

Your desk at work has been empty since this all ended. One day it will be filled by another agent, another good, kind, amazing person because that is the only kind we accept into our family, but she will never be you. It was torture when JJ was sent away and I thought that pain could never be eclipsed but this is so, so, so, so, so much worse.

_Lights will guide you home  
And ignite your bones  
And I will try to fix you _

You were buried today. It was a beautiful day, almost as beautiful as you were. The sun was shining and it was surprisingly warm for being March. The boys carried the casket to the grave site. I just can't wrap my head around it being you in there. A priest was there to dedicate your grave. You wouldn't have liked him. He rambled while reading. Who rambles when they read? Your mother picked him. Before they lowered you- I mean your casket, before they lowered your casket into the ground we all place flowers on it. There was a lunch your mother had catered afterwards. Again, you would have hated it. It was all fancy and pretentious and tense and no one knew how to react. It finally broke when your mother made a comment about your career choice. Something about how she always knew it was a possibility that your job would kill you. I don't think she meant it any other way than sadness but Spence took it differently. Our dear sweet Spence stood up and quietly turned to your mother. "Emily Prentiss has saved more lives than you will ever imagine." And then he turned and walked out.

We didn't go after him, figured he needed some space, but when we didn't hear from him by 10 tonight we knew something was wrong. About an hour later, after checking the BAU, his apartment, your apartment, we found him by you surrounded by metal and wires, and a shovel muttering to him self. "I am going to fix her, I can fix her," he kept muttering.

He wouldn't be stopped we soon discovered. He had collected all the parts to build a Tesla coil, and being our little genius he already knew how to do it. He was going to build this coil, dig up the casket, and shock you with it. We tried to reason with him but he just ignored us, so we just kept vigil. Hours later he dropped to his knees in exhaustion. He had miscalculated something in the equation, he said. He couldn't fix you. It was almost like you had died all over again. If anyone could figure it out it would be our G-man, if he can't do it then no one can. What we all wouldn't do or give to fix you. __

And high up above or down below  
When you're too in love to let it go  
But if you never try you'll never know  
Just what you're worth  


It's been a month now. One whole month since this nightmare began. I've been having your mail sent here. After, well after IT happened your landlord wanted to rent your apartment out again. It was so hard cleaning it out. It was so you, my dove, and it hurt to see so much of you but know its not you, it's just a hint and that will never be enough.

We each took what we wanted to remember you by. I know that you left your phone behind when you left. I called every number that had ever been connected to you when you were missing. I left messages on every one of them. I have no idea if you ever received any of them. But I couldn't let your phone just stay there. It's like it was a link to you, a connection, like if I kept leaving you messages maybe someday, somewhere, somehow you might hear them. Same with your mail. Like maybe if I kept it safe you would come back from vacation and get it. I couldn't open it, if I did it would be snooping and you were coming back to get it. At least that is what my heart kept insisting.

I didn't even realize that the phone company would want money to keep the service going. I panicked when they sent a text message as a final warning before service was shut off. I panicked and hacked into their system and made it so they could never shut it off. I am not ready to let you go. Not yet. I don't know if I ever will be.

_Lights will guide you home  
And ignite your bones  
And I will try to fix you  
_

I've been having nightmares lately. I've always had them, with all that crazy evil out there that we deal with and that is splashed across the screens of my babies like tires splash mud after it rains how could I not? I know you did. So many nights we'd call one another and talk til the other fell asleep, trying to talk the demons from coming back to haunt us. Those compartments you worked so hard to keep up while awake didn't hold up to the power of dreams, did they?

Anyway, I am getting off track. But last night I couldn't stand it anymore so I went to Derek. His lights were on in his house when I pulled up even though it was past three in the morning. He hasn't been sleeping well either, no one has. Using my key to unlock the door he was standing there, staring at a picture of us all taken right after you started with us. Do you remember that? At the bar and Morgan was dancing with all those girls? And Hotch and Hailey were still together? And I bought that song that Morgan was dancing to and you teased me for months after? I still think he dances like a cat, by the way. Well even of you don't that's not the point of this. What I am getting at is, he was standing there looking at this picture and he was smiling.

He's felt guilty this whole time but I am the only one who knows just how guilty. He thinks he should have stopped you or made you talk because, sweetie I have no idea how you managed to be undercover but you had no one fooled into thinking you were okay. But early, early this morning he was smiling. I asked him what he was smiling about and we started talking about all the good things that had happened over the years. The cases we solved and people that we saved. Dinners and parties and holidays and birthdays and just everything. We talked and laughed and cried until the sun started to come up.

We miss you, Emily. We miss you so much but the warmth of you and your life warms us and will continue to warm us. __

Tears stream down your face  
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes  
Tears stream down your face  
And I…  


It's been a year and a while since I've talked to you. I am standing here next to your headstone. Fidelity. Bravery. Integrity. There are flowers all around it, almost covering the words. Did you ever know how much I loved you? I never told you enough. I should have told you more, every time I saw you or talked to you or thought about you, I should have told you.

That's not a mistake I will ever make again. I am engaged to Derek and we are having a baby. I love them both and I tell them every chance I get. My life's goal is to make sure that is one mistake I will never ever make again. If the baby is a girl, and I think she is and since I am Queen of the Freaking Universe and Knower of All Things I should know, if the baby is a girl we are naming her Emily Lauren Morgan. This is my forever way of saying that I love you Emily Prentiss and you will always be with us.

_Lights will guide you home  
And ignite your bones  
And I will try to fix you_

**Hiding behind a tree ten yards from the grave is a woman with dark brown hair, long lashes, and chewed on nails listening to the conversation the blonde woman was having. The pain of loss had taken its toll on the darker woman but standing there, hearing the words said and feeling the love and emotion she felt fixed. **


End file.
